hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
be right there i have to get my cape
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
