Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
please come you make the beer taste better
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
