I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
