The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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