We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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