the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
