Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
