after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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