doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
