an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
