So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
