just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize