shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
