I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
