I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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