I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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