Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
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