your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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