It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
