So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
