We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
