I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
They took my balls.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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