I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
