I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
