we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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