Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
