I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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