Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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