were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
