now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
