is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
