Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
