Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
