I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
