literally had 100 drinks last night.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
