And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
