I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You smell like stripper and shame
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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