Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
