I can tuck mytits in my pants
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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