Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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