I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
