I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
