wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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