My liver just broke up with me...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
