I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
