So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
