Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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