I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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