K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
it was like having sex with a tree stump
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
