OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I love having hate sex.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Dicks are not precious.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
