So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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