If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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